Nintendo Switch 2 launch titles: these games almost certainly aren't that, but they definitely should be

It’s happened. The Nintendo Switch 2’s era of being a technically unannounced thing that everyone and their mother knows is coming has been brought to an end by the reveal we’ve all been waiting for.

So, now we’ve seen the hardware, but there wasn’t much in the way of reveals of games we’ll be able to play on it at launch, even if there’s been plenty of speculation about that kind of thing recently.

So, with that in mind, here are some games we here at VG247 are fairly sure don’t have a strong chance of actually being Switch 2 launch titles, but would be in an ideal world. You know, that one Lionel Hutz from The Simpsons pictures when he dreams of ambulance chasers not existing.

Conker’s Bad Fur Day, you cowards

It’s time for Nintendo to look backwards. To do something it’s never done before - embrace its past. No, not the nice, comfy bits that don’t have flowers with huge breasts, the concept of binge drinking, or a giant opera-singing pile of s**t. It’s time to use all of the Switch 2’s extra processing power and gizmos to deliver 2001 N64 classic Conker’s Bad Fur Day back into the laps of Ninty fans.

Sure, the suits are going to take one look at it and immediately book themselves into therapy, but Xbox has proven that it’s ok to give a modern audience some Conker through the likes of the Rare Replay, and surely with a bit of the corporate platform-holder collaboration that more popular than ever right now, he can join the likes of Turok and Perfect Dark as N64 things that’ve gotten Switch releases. Make the squirrel the face of the Switch 2. You know you want to.

Surprise! Xbox 360 exclusives finally become less exclusive

Everything's an Xbox now, right? So logically, the Switch 2 is also an Xbox. This mind-blowing revelation is sure to prove true to some extent, with new and recent Microsoft-produced games more or less a dead cert for an appearance on the platform, but "we can get weirder with it" is basically the VG247 guarantee, so here we go...

There's a whole generation of players who never owned an Xbox 360 who therefore may have never known the joys of gaming classics like must-play sequel Fable 2, the original Saints Row, or Sonic Free Riders (hey, I have to assume that's been a thorn in the side of at least one Sonic completionist, somewhere out there). You have to remember that during the 360 era, Microsoft was so cagey with its rights to some popular and promising IPs that even its own PCs weren't allowed to be Xboxes. How times do change.

What we're proposing here is simple: an end to Xbox 360 exclusivity that bypasses the way-too-obvious choice of remastering any of these games for Microsoft's current-gen hardware and instead drops them all as-is on the Switch 2. They'll run great so Ninty will look great; games will be preserved; and Microsoft can keep calling everyone else's consoles an Xbox. Everybody wins (except maybe Sony).

Forget whatever 3D Mario Ninty’s got cooking up, we need Super Mario Galaxy 3

Look, this might be a bit of a hot take for some, but I think Super Mario Odyssey was just pretty good! It had some fun challenges, I thought the Dark Soulsy world was pretty funny, it just didn't really have enough of that magical whimsy Super Mario Galaxy oozed. So, I think they should make another one, and that it should come right out the gate. Think about it: when was the last time you were happy? That's right, your childhood! And it's all thanks to Super Mario Galaxy, one of the most delightful 3D platformers around.

The soundtrack, the planets, the surprisingly sad backstory and absolutely existentially terrifying ending? Nintendo just doesn't really roll like that with Mario any more and I think that's a damn shame. A third entry in the Super Mario Galaxy series would probably be seen as a nostalgia ploy, and it very well could be, but I'd rather that than have it struggle to reinvent 3D Mario once again (besides, Nintendo already did that with Bowser's Fury, which if we're being even more honest is the Mario game most deserving of some kind of follow-up). Give it a think, Nintendo, even though your console is due out in a matter of months. I'm sure you can whip something up easy peasy!

Forget about modern Mario altogether, we need yet another release of Super Mario 64

Like Oisin, I also wish to see Super Mario Galaxy 3 come to fruition one day. Though, there's one 3D Mario game that I'd love to see on the Switch 2 even more, and that's Super Mario 64... again. I say again, because Super Mario 64 has made its way onto a good portion of existing Nintendo consoles in one way or another since the game's conception. We received Super Mario 64 DS, which had its own new, nifty little features for both veterans and newcomers to rejoice in, and later, that version was available on the Wii U via its virtual console. On top of that, we received Super Mario 3D All Stars for Switch, which not only had Super Mario Galaxy and Sunshine among the roster, but Super Mario 64 too.

For Switch 2, however, I want to see Super Mario 64 rereleased with the Nintendo DS treatment; no fancy collections or re-releases, just Super Mario 64 Switch 2, or something a little catchier than that.

Forget about a new 3D Mario game, forget about Super Mario Galaxy 3, and forget about Mario and Sonic's middling Olympic events. I need another excuse to play Super Mario 64 again, and this time, I need to play it on Switch 2 as Yoshi.

Sleeping Dogs 2, because come on, man

It’s not fair. We’ve gone this long without a sequel to perhaps the greatest game set in Hong Kong and with a protagonist called Wei of all time, and now we’ve even had our dreams of a slumbering canines movie starring Donnie Yen shattered by the brutal reality of a Hollywood that clearly doesn’t appreciate its not quite GTAs.

Nintendo, come on. Please say you’ve lent on Square so hard to provide you with top notch Switch 2 launch games that it’s panicked, momentarily forgotten it owns Final Fantasy, and greenlit a second Chinese triad undercover cop thing before coming to its senses. Seriously, I can’t think of a better platform for Sleeping Dogs 2 to debut on. It’s got a screen, buttons, everything. There’s no other game that can show those and all the new gizmos off like this one.

Sonic and Mario at the Summer Wii Sports Winter Olympics

Famously, the Nintendo DS was built to withstand falling out of a child’s pocket, but with the Switch 2, Nintendo needs to take things further to really impress us.

The new hybrid console provides an unparalleled opportunity for immersive, olympic play.

I will accept no less than real, throwable discus events, but will settle for the console being used as either the bat or the ball in table tennis.

Unfortunately, downhill skiing will have to be a multiplayer-only event since you need one console attached to each of your feet.

Shin Megami Tensei 4 + Shin Megami Tensei 4: Apocalypse Mega Pack

There have been vague and unsubstantiated rumours about Shin Megami Tensei 4 and it’s (arguably better ‘B-side’ spin-off) Shin Megami Tensei 4: Apocalypse coming to Nintendo Switch for a while. These two games - stellar entries in Atlus’ RPG series - are locked on the 3DS, vaguely forgotten about and now unable for purchase thanks to the closure of the eShop on the handheld.

It’s criminal, I tell you. Criminal! Both titles are superb executions of how to do proper dungeon-crawling role-playing in this day in age. Both titles revisit the golden era of apocalyptic noir in such an interesting way, and both made little tweaks to the MegaTen formula that would eventually find their way into either Metaphor Refantazio or the Persona series. Ergo; the two titles are just as important to Atlus as that wonderful re-release of MegaTen 5 we saw in the summer of last year.

It’d be nice to see Nintendo and Atlus team up to get these titles back in our hands in a meaningful way, and if the Switch 2 is just going to be ‘the Switch but better’, then I can see fun and interactive ways of making the touch screen work whilst also giving us the real estate to see what’s going on in the other screen, too. I know it’s a hard thing for Nintendo to do, porting 3DS titles to Switch, but we’ve seen games excel at this elsewhere; Monster Hunter Generations, Hyrule Warriors Legends Definitive Edition, Resident Evil Revelations, and Layton’s Mystery Journey are just a few examples that spring to mind. This port is doable, and - in my opinion - essential.

It's time, PC gamers. Nintendo should nick all of your sweaty shooters and also Starcraft

Y'know what, I, like many of you out there, have seen that video of someone allegedly using a Switch 2 joycon as a mouse. While this might be yet another bogus clip on the pile of phony Switch 2 leaks, it has got me thinking. Why not get some PC bangers on the Switch 2? I, for one, would love some Counter Strike 2 or Valorant on the console.

Now, before you all laugh, no crossplay with PC. Obviously. I, like you, don't want a Switch 2 Awper responsible for clutching out a round. That's ridiculous. But with Valorant already on consoles, why not? Why not bring the Switch to the realm of tactical shooters. If you're a 30-something year old and think you won't get out-aimed by a 12 year old on a Switch, I've got news for you buddy. The future is now, and you're not in it. All you've got to look at is all the Fortnite mobile gamers busting moves on other players as proof of that.

These sorts of games, that for years have been seen as PC titles, can make the leap. While we're at it, why not venture into other PC games that could do with some Switch love? Starcraft, for one. If in the next few years I see someone pull out their Switch 2 at the airport and Zerg rush on-the-go, I'll know we've made it.

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So, there you go, there are the games we’re desperate to see as Nintendo Switch 2 launch titles. They won’t be, but life is a constant cycle of unbridled hope and often slightly disappointing by comparison reality, with the hope bit being both what makes it all so enthralling, and so soul-warping.

New console releases are often like that too, but here’s hoping Nintendo’s delivered something great, even if we won’t be playing these games on it right out of the box.