Stardew Valley's next update will let you drink mayonnaise, and I do not like that
Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he has created?
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Stardew Valley is soon set to receive its 1.6 update, and apparently you'll be able to drink mayonnaise.
Look, I love mayo. I know you lot over in the US mostly use it for sandwiches, but it's simply the best condiment for fries and fried chicken. It comes in countless varieties and flavours, and even your bog standard mayo differs from country to country. I realise this is incredibly white of me to say, but I've got five different kinds in my fridge right now, so that have a different type depending on my needs. And yet, discovering that Stardew Valley's next update will let you… drink… mayo… that fills me with a level of dread I've never experienced before.
You see, the game's 1.6 update is due out tomorrow, March 19, and the game's creator Eric Barone (aka ConcernedApe) has been tweeting out random patch notes in the days leading up to it. That includes bug fixes like the fact that it was faster to harvest left-to-right than the opposite, spouses getting a "honeymoon" period, and things like pickles or jelly being coloured differently depending on the ingredient. And for some reason, Barone decided that the patch note to be shared two days before the update launches is "You can now drink mayonnaise."
Typically I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, but if you are a mayo drinker, you are a sinner. It isn't right! It isn't a liquid! If we're being weirdly technical about it it's something called a colloid, and you don't hear people going around saying "let me just take a sip of my colloid" do you? I beg of you, don't drink the mayonnaise, whether that be in real life or in Stardew Valley. Many things are possible in life, but that doesn't mean we need to do all of them.
The worst part is that a lot of the content in 1.6 is currently a secret, so one of the only things we know about it is literally just that you can drink mayo. So, when you get the update tomorrow, maybe at least try to figure out what the new content is before you head straight to the fridge to chug egg and oil sauce.