Square Enix devs want to bring FFVII spin-off to 3DS

FFVII?! On 3DS?! OMGWTFZ!

Calm down, because this isn't quite what you were hoping for. Also, if you hug your Cloud plushie any harder, his head's gonna pop off.

"If I were to make something for 3DS, I suppose it would be a remake of Before Crisis Final Fantasy VII. I'd redo the scenario structure and game design for the 3DS. I think I'd like to make an action RPG BCFF7 where a large number of Turks players play simultaneously," 3rd Birthday and Final Fantasy Agito XIII director Hajime Tabata tweeted (translation via Andriasang).

Before Crisis, for the uninitiated, was an episodic Japanese cell phone game starring a colorfully coiffed, suit-clad gang with questionable moral fiber known as the Turks. So basically, they're Japan's version of Pulp Fiction, which is an idea we can totally get behind.

The game never made it overseas, perhaps due to the fact that - unlike Japanese phones - Western phones are so far in the Stone Age that we probably would've bowed down before the game and declared it a god while grunting out gibberish and beating our women with clubs.

But hooray! That's all gonna change now, right? Not exactly. Tabata made sure to emphasize that his words are not Square Enix's; he's speaking for himself. However, he also noted that Tetsuya Nomura and Yoshinori Kitase have their sights set on a Before Crisis port as well, so if this news article were a high-fantasy book-style medieval map, it'd be stationed well within The Realm of Possibility.

Time will tell, we suppose, whether or not it actually happens. Obviously, though, this one's definitely not launch material.