Nintendo Switch 2? What Switch 2? Surely the announcement you've been waiting on is the Nintendo Sound Clock: Alarmo
Couldn't have timed it better.
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Finally, it's here, the announcement all you Mario and Zelda fans have been waiting for… the Nintendo Sound Clock: Alarmo.
Nintendo Switch 2? Never heard of it, but what I have heard of is the freshly announced Nintendo Sound Clock: Alarmo, a literal alarm clock from the Mario makers themselves. No, you haven't just skipped a few months to April 1, this is a very real product that Nintendo has announced, and it is literally just an alarm clock. Well, that's maybe being a bit reductive, because it's an alarm clock done in a Nintendo Way, of course. You see, the alarm clock watches you as you sleep, and by that I mean it has motion sensors.
When the alarm goes off at your chosen time, it'll play a theme from one of five games, including Super Mario Odyssey, Pikmin 4, Splatoon 3, Ring Fit Adventure, and Breath of the Wild (notably not Tears of the Kingdom). The clock then responds to your movements, playing different sounds as you sit up and stretch your arms (because how else does anyone wake up other than in a dead-eyed fugue state), and when it sees that you've fully stood up out of bed, it finally shuts off. To be clear, there is a button mode where you can use it as a normal alarm clock, which it recommends you do if you share a bed with someone else.
At the top of every hour it'll also charm like a classic grandfather clock, again with different sounds from the aforementioned games. It can also play some ASMR-esque sounds to help you get to sleep too, and it tracks your movements as you sleep as well, if you want to know that much about yourself. Oh, and you can connect it to your Wi-Fi too to get free sounds, with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Animal Crossing coming up next.
If you're US based and are subscribed to Nintendo Switch Online, for a limited time you can buy it via the My Nintendo Store ahead of the general public, which will last until early 2025. Anyone that heads to the Nintendo New York store can also just buy it there. It does cost $100, though, so really think hard about how much you want to be that kind of Nintendo person.
Anyway, I'm sure the Nintendo Switch 2 announcement is right around the corner, right? Right?