FFXIII's Lightning & Louis Vuitton: In-Character Endorsements We'd Like to See

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If you haven't heard, Final Fantasy XIII's Lightning is a part of Louis Vuitton's latest ad campaign. In addition to models like Lea Seydoux and Jaden Smith, the fashion company has tapped FFXIII's heroine to headline the campaign for its curated Series 4 clothing line.

"It's clear that the virtual aesthetic of video games is predominant in this collection. If we push the reflection about heroines, or what might constitute the nature of a woman whose actions can be so courageous that she becomes superior and iconic, it becomes obvious that a virtual entity integrates with the founding principles of the Maison," said Louis Vuitton creative director Nicolas Ghesquière.

"Lightning is the perfect avatar for a global, heroic woman and for a world where social networks and communications are now seamlessly woven into our life. She is also the symbol of new pictorial processes. How can you create an image that goes beyond the classic principles of photography and design? Lightning heralds a new era of expression."

The promotional images are actually pretty cool. Where this gets interesting is the Telegraph ran an article featuring what is supposed to be a real in-character interview with Lightning, going into her feelings about the campaign. It is the best thing ever, capturing the captivating emotion that we've all come to expect from Lightning over three games. Here's one excerpt from the interview.

"My clothes were nothing more than armor to stay alive; 'dressing up' was a concept I've never had. Perhaps that makes me an unseemly choice as ambassador. But this experience has opened my eyes. Fashion isn't something you're taught or given, it comes from your own taste and your own choices. It displays the essence of who you are to the people around you."

We here at USgamer found this to be the height of perfection, so we dove in to find more amazing promotional interviews with game characters. Enjoy.

Excerpt from "Hunky Simon Belmont Talks the Art of Whipping Hunger Pangs the Socially Conscious Way With Tofurky"-Teen People, April 1999 (Jeremy Parish)

TP: What does it feel like to become a Turtle Island Foods Co. brand ambassador?

SB: Food for the Belmont clan has always been nothing more than a tool to stay alive. Find a beef roast hidden lodged behind ancient masonry as if it were some culinary Fortunato, perhaps, or a mayhap a turkey leg mystically sealed into a spectral candelabra. Such a happenstance would be seen as a great boon, for meat possesses the ability to restore a vampire hunter's health by several bars. When dogged by the vexing patterns of infinite severed Medusa heads, one does not question the origins of such badly needed curatives!

And yet the question lingers: As I move swift to battle the dread forces of Count Dracula, a fell being whose purpose is to dominate and consume life, am I truly so different from my nemesis as I devour the flesh of living animals to empower myself? The Lord God granted Man dominion over the beasts of the field, but much of stewardship concerns restraint and self-control. What greater form of self-control can there be but to abstain from abusing our power over these dumb creatures and gaining our nourishment through other avenues? Such as soy-based substitutes for animal products? Truly, it is an honor to be the face of compassionate consumption.

TP: What are your upcoming projects?

SB: Pachinko. Erotic violence. Erotic pachinko violence. So many possibilities I foresee. The days stretch before me, ripe with promise. And I shall meet them mightily, empowered by the protein-packed, animal-friendly nourishment provided by Tofurky™ brand meat analogues.

Excerpt from "Cid Highwind's Steeped Secret of Youth" - Modern Maturity, May 1998 (Bob Mackey)

MM: How has life been after the phenomenal success of Final Fantasy VII?

CH: Well, you know. It's great to get back to doing what I love: Smoking, tinkering, cursing, emotionally abusing my assistant... These are the fruits of my golden years.

MM: And you say Lipton tea has been the key to maintaining your sanity during this final chapter of your life?

CH: They're paying me to say that, but yes. When I'm sitting in my goddamn chair, there's nothing that calms the nerves more than a steaming hot cup of tea. But it doesn't stop there. Whether I'm tinkering on the go, cursing on the go, or emotionally abusing my assistant on the go, you'll usually find me with a thermos full of the stuff.

MM: Interesting.

CH: And since I'm getting up there in years, it's nice to have a little caffeine to stimulate the brain. Can't have the old noodle get too foggy when I hit the next big milestone.

MM: What's that? 80? 90?

CH: I'm 32 years old.

MM: Good lord.

Excerpt from "The Great Skeleton Gourmet, Papyrus, Hypes Up Ragu Sauces for Humans and Monsters Alike" - Weber Cooks Magazine, 201X (Nadia Oxford)

WCM: Humans and monsters have very different palates. How do you pitch Ragu tomato sauce in a way that appeals to both species?

PAPYRUS: HUMAN, YOUR KIND IS NOT SO DIFFERENT FROM US MONSTERS. WE ALL LOVE SCARVES, WE ALL LOVE SOLVING PUZZLES BEFORE WE'RE ALLOWED TO USE THE BATHROOM, AND WE ALL LOVE OUR SPAGHETTI COLD AND CHEWY.

I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE A GREAT APPRECIATION FOR HOW WELL RAGU'S LACK OF BOLD FLAVOR PAIRS UP WITH MY PASTA. WHEN YOU HAVE A BRICK OF CARBOHYDRATES BREAKING DOWN IN YOUR STOMACH, YOU WANT SOMETHING RED AND WATERY TO AID IN THE PROCESS.

WCM: What kind of challenges do you face as Ragu's spokes-skeleton, given your lack of a tongue or a stomach?

PAPYRUS: THAT IS AN INTIMATE QUESTION, HUMAN! I SHALL HAVE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER BEFORE I FEEL COMFORTABLE ANSWERING IT. LET US GO ON A DATE AFTER I CHANGE MY SHIRT.

Except from "No Payne, No Gain: Max Payne on Good, Clean Living" - Men's Fitness, 2015 (Mike Williams)

MF: Why is Chobani Simply 100 the right yogurt for you?

Max: You can't outrun a past paved with blood, fire, and loss. That 3am ache in your gut when all you're left with is you and your choices. Closing your heavy eyes, taking a swig of Jack, and standing before judge and jury; 12 angry men and women who you betrayed and left for dead. But you can outrun the harsh chemicals and high fat dropped in your yogurt by slick executives, the fifty-something nightmares feeding on the American Dream. Chobani Simply 100 is natural, as natural as letting the glitz and glamour of the world wash away the sandy shores of the person you should be.

MF: What's your favorite flavor?

MP: My favorite Chobani flavor is Blood Orange, that red liquid representing all I did to find myself here, my toll for Charon on the river Styx. But like the song says, you can't always get what you want, and sometimes you can't even be in the same house as what you want; failed promises and angry arguments leading you to divorce yourself from your dreams. But we make the best of what we have and in those dark hours, the morning sun streaking through broken blinds like angel coming to take your to salvation, I open the fridge and get a Mango Passion Fruit. That's when I begin to make sense of it of all and I'm sitting there at my kitchen table with my wife and daughter again. Before all the pain.