England's football coach decries "PlayStation culture"

Fabio Capello, the new England football coach, has banned games as part of the team's new regime. Seems fair enough to us. They should be doing what footballers should be doing: having sex with models and being paid £30,000 a week.

The Times, however, was not amused.

"If Fabio Capello is that concerned about winning with England, he may have missed a trick by banning PlayStations," wrote the paper's chief football correspondent, Martin Samuel. "What happened to playing to your strengths? PlayStation was never the problem for England's footballers anyway. PlayStation, we're good at. If Steve McClaren could have found a way of challenging Croatia to a game of Donkey Kong, he might have stood a chance. No gadgets, Fabio? Big mistake. It is the football that needs banning. That is what baffles us."

The Times' man's clearly blown a fuse. Donkey Kong on a PlayStation? We'll be winning the World Cup first, Martin.