Asteroids Outpost: Let's Reboot Other Atari Games!

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Asteroids is coming back back, my friends! Atari is bringing back the classic shooter using today's technology for the PC. I assume this means hype new HD graphics, a pulse-pounding chiptune soundtrack, and perhaps a few new game modes to spice things up. Let's see what the publisher has in store for us...

"This re-imagining of the world-renowned 1979 arcade shooter puts players in the role of a deep space miner, as they struggle for survival in the asteroid belt. Asteroids: Outpost reinvents the classic Atari title as an open world, sandbox style, survival experience, where players mine, build and defend their base and grow their fortune as they go 'from rocks to riches'."

What? Asteroids Outpost is going to be a DayZ-style survival game in space? You're not just randomly shooting asteroids? Players explore the face of an asteroid, attempting to shoot, scavenge, and craft their way to freedom. I mean, there will still be smaller asteroid showers, but those are there to provide the game with replenishing resources. This is a completely different game!

It's just crazy enough to work. I actually want to play it. I want to see the endgame of the original thought, "We can reboot Asteroids." I'll be there on day one.

Is this our future? Rebooting classic Atari 2600 titles with wildly different concepts? (They already re-did Yar's Revenge as a Panzer Dragoon-style shooter, folks.) Well, here's a few ideas for publishers.

Breakout Unleashed

The Premise: It's the year 20XX. William Break has lived his entire life in a dystopian mega-prison, surrounded by bright, colorful walls meant to hide the despair within the hearts of its inhabitants. There is no freedom, only endless colors. That's until Break comes in contact with the Sphere, the one weapon that can tear down the walls of this prison. Now, it falls to Break to free himself, free his people, and find out why they've been imprisoned in the first place.

The Pitch: We're talking stylish hard action in the vein of Devil May Cry or Bayonetta. Your only weapon is the Sphere, which can morph into different configurations to take on certain situations. Like Red Faction, you can even destroy the walls to give yourself new tactical options! We should get Platinum on this one.

World Order: Missile Command

The Premise: A world on the brink of Nuclear Holocaust. The Earth becomes infected with a mysterious, near limitless sources of power called Anienum. Desperate to make the power source theirs, the current world governments go to war. You can either control soldiers from the World Defense Force or the cult-like Order of Sleipnir. Which side will you choose?

The Pitch: It's Command & Conquer. Do you think anyone will realize that? We tried to change the names enough that no one would notice. I think we're good. Missiles? Yeah, one of the units has missiles or something. We got you covered.

Space Invaders Noir

The Premise: In this sleepy 1950's city, Jack Carver is the man you come to when you have a problem. He's just a normal gumshoe trying to make it in this world with his girl friday, Jaye Saturday. When a ritzy dame enters Carver's office talking about aliens replacing her family, he takes the case. But when aliens can replace anyone, who can Carver and Saturday trust? Get to the bottom of the case and save the city.

The Pitch: Telltale Games are pretty popular, so Space Invaders Noir is a detective adventure game that takes place in the 1950's. You have to find out what's going on he city without letting the alien space invaders know that you're onto them. Choice and consequence are the focus of this five-episode whatdunit.

Robotron Warfare

The Premise: In the far-future, the robots have revolted! Hot shot pilot Doe Dodger and her brother were on a routine cargo mission when the robot revolution captured them for human-to-machine conversion. Unfortunately for them, something went wrong and now Dodgers is the best of human and machine. She can run faster, jump higher, and smash her metallic foes to save human lives. But what happened to her brother?

The Pitch: The classic twin-stick shooter becomes a first-person shooter! We're talking big-budget here, real serious storytelling. Dodgers becomes the leader of a crack anti-robot infiltration squad, even though she never actually gives any orders or says a word. Every encounter in the game matters. The enemy AI will be top-notch - they'll take cover and flank you - so these encounters will be small group only. No mass armies of mindless drones, just slow, methodical combat. Also, the game will have a extensive multiplayer mode where you kill other people for someone reason. We'll figure it out.

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial War

The Premise: On the run from his own race, E.T. comes to Earth. There he meets a young Earth boy named Elliot. E.T offers Elliot and his friends special powers to protect them from the oncoming darkness. Together, they'll have to use their powers and special equipment to save the Earth.

The Pitch: Okay, this is going to be our biggest game ever. The single-player experience will be an open-world action-adventure in a 1-to-1 scale recreation of a city in California. (Redwood City?) Players can chose to play Elliot or his friends, using their powers to free city districts from evil aliens. You can also repair E.T.'s ship and fly to other planets! There will be multiplayer raids on these other planets. The first game is only part 1 of 10-part epic tale that will make George R.R. Martin cry. I'm thinking we'll get a facial- and motion-captured Bryan Cranston to be the FBI agent hunting E.T. Maybe Benedict Cumberbatch instead. Maybe both?

It'll cost a pretty penny, but I'm sure we'll sell a ton of copies.