Angry Birds to invade televisions, no one is safe

As with many works of fiction, Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" got it all wrong. And as is normally the case with these things, the real life version is turning out to be far worse.

Having already taken over every other rectangle with some degree of electronic functionality, Angry Birds is now making the ill-aimed slingshot jump to televisions. More specifically, Rovio's struck a deal with set-top box company Roku, who apparently plans to replace everything you know and love with tiny weaponized birds.

First off, the no-brainer: every Angry Birds game will end up on a "new product" to be released later this summer. But let's say that - God forbid - you get tired of firing birds at pigs incessantly for the rest of your life. Well, that's where the Angry Birds video channel comes in. Then you can spend a nice afternoon browsing Angry Birds merchandise on the store channel. And after that, you can go back to playing Angry Birds, because this is all you know.

This harrowing vision of the future has been brought to you in part by Venture Beat.